Partly Facetious: The rupee slide

"So the rupee drop was due to speculation, thus spoke the Pakistani Zarathustra."
"Who in the world is Zarathustra? And who is the Pakistani Zarathustra?"
"The famous German philosopher Nietzsche wrote a book Thus Spoke Zarathustra and need I add Zarathustra is an ancient Persian prophet, spiritual leader and ethical philosopher who taught a spiritual philosophy of self-realization and realization of the Divine."
"Oh, so your reference is to The Khan's third wife. I would just like to mention that The Khan's supporters are not ultra religious or proponents of the veil and a shapeless gown but the educated urban..."
"That shows you are no Khanzadeh - besides she isn't going to talk about the rupee drop!"
"I remember now, it was the Minister of Information Fawad Chaudhry, but you know to be fair to him he is no economist and I am sure he has been informed since his comment that the inter-bank rate is not a speculative rate but one that is determined by the State Bank of Pakistan..."
"Two comments, first, off with the head of Governor of the SBP who is a Dariite, and post-Khan administration, a hidden Dariite..."
"Dariite or meteorite? Dar is out while the Meteor continues to serve with the same dedication that he exhibited in his dealings with Dar..."
"If not more, you know because he has to prove his loyalty given his pats, it's like women have to work harder than men to show they are able and......"
"Right, but second point I wanted to make is to inform you of Fawad Chaudhry's work experience which qualifies him for the job. He worked as Musharraf's media coordinator and resigned in 2012; Gilani sahib as the prime minister appointed him as his special assistant for information and political affairs and such was his exemplary service to the party that Raja Pervez Ashraf appointed him as his special assistant and..."
"But I have a bone to pick with Raja Rental. I mean he never gave Fawad Chaudhry the portfolio of media coordinator..."
"That was reserved for the Zardi, Kaira."
"Right and Nawaz Sharif and family never tried to induct him, they had their own Fawad Chaudhry, Parveen Rashid..."
"I have told you again and again get that key board sorted out... Anyway party leaders reward those who are loyal."
"True, anyway the Minister of Very Little Information said the rupee erosion in one day was due to those dratted SBP officials who speculated...."
"Off with their head."
"You mean heads."
"No, singular, as in head; as in the Governor SBP!"
"What about the Finance Minister who released a video of the decision of the government to go on a Fund programme? I mean that was so Trumpian... using the social media and..."
"Not doable, he, like Buzdil sahib is close to The Khan and no way is he going to have his head cut off."
"It's Buzdar not Buzdil."
"Right, I'll get a new keyboard."